What a system we've got here

I've always been a hardworking

Taxpaying citizen

But you get a judge angry at you

And you're screwed


I said hey

If you're gonna be like that, buddy

I'm gonna come down to the courthouse

With my Ryder truck


Look, I know I shouldn't have said that

That was dumb

But this is ridiculous

Making a felony case against me


If the prisons are really so crowded

Why put me in there

When I could be working

And paying taxes?


What do you think I pay you for

Anyway, nudderbudder?

To spit on yourself

And call it cheap cheese?

To spew on all your friends

And clean it up with my socks?


So take your half-digested animal crackers

Off my face

Don't cross the streams

Remember the lame

Shouldn't have eaten that undercooked suet

Screw it


But what the hell are they gonna do?

Put me in jail?

You get a piece of raw suet mad at you

And you're screwed


So I said, buddy

Get out of my truck

This is where we both get off